Broadway Jets

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Big Fat Middle Fingers

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Following Sunday’s dramatic win over the Browns I leaned back in my chair, took a nice long sip of Jack Daniels, and raised one finger in the air. The middle one. I knew following this Jet victory that Patriot and Dolphin fans were circle jerking each other imagining the eventual Jet collapse that is evident from the way Rex & Company have been winning games. So it is with great pleasure that I write this piece to not only squash such unintelligent thought processes but to further advance these human sub-species of idiots, thus preventing them from using their mouths as a way to defecate their dead brain cells and infecting the rest of the world with their incestuous STD. You may now remove those Patriot jerseys and watch me piss on your back.

The Proof is in the Pudding. Eat it.

10 points. Through 9 regular season games the NY Jets have won 7 games and have lost 2 games by a total of 10…points. The NY Jets are the first team in NFL HISTORY to win back to back road games in overtime. They are 3-0 in the division with two of those wins coming on the road. In fact, the Jets are undefeated on the road with a 5-0 mark. The Jets outscored all three division opponents by a total score of 97-51, with their closest margin of victory being 8 points against the Dolphins followed by 14 point against the Patriots. The Jet offense is ranked 4th in the league in rushing and tied for 6th in the league in passing TDs. Mark Sanchez has less interceptions than Drew Brees, Philip Rivers, Aaron Rodgers, and Eli Manning. The Jets rank 5th in the league in defense (Total Yards), 4th in rushing defense, and through 9 games they have not allowed one player to break the 100 yard mark rushing the football. Their defense is ranked 3rd in the league in points allowed per game. Mind you, this is after the Jets lost their starting nose tackle and defensive stalwart, Kris Jenkins, to season ending knee surgery in the first game of the season. The Jets Special Teams unit averages 27.4 yards per kick return, good enough to be ranked 2nd in the NFL. The Jets offensive line has allowed 14 sacks and 23 QB hits which is tied for 3rd and ranked 2nd respectively. The NY Jets have the best conference record with 5 wins and one loss. They are tied with the Patriots and Falcons for the best record in the league thus far and have already taken the first matchup against New England in convincing fashion.

All year the inbreds from Miami and New England have warned us that our “Luck” would run out eventually. Michael Felger of CSN wrote an article on October 12 entitled “The Crash Landing is Coming” in which he insinuated that the win against the Vikings was a product of Farve’s gunslinger ways and not the result of a well coached team that found a way to win during the final minutes of regulation. I’m sorry Michael, your right. Due to your resourceful analysis, remarkable football acumen and aptitude, we must all stand here corrected. Put an asterisk next to that “W” and every other win as you see fit. Dwight Lowery didn’t watch film, he didn’t practice all week, wasn’t coached, and he didn’t jump the route to seal that win against Minnesota but rather, he was lucky to be playing against Brett Farve, a quarterback with no Hall of Fame credentials. Ignoring the fact that we slapped the extensions out of Tom Brady’s head in week 2, Felger insisted, in his putrid attempt at sports journalism, that “Rex Ryan and the Jets won’t be so lucky against Tom Brady or Peyton Manning or Ben Roethlisberger down the line.” Right. Since that article was written, the Jets are 4-1 and still haven’t played a complete game. Please remove the penis from your mouth before thinking. In addition, support your biased opinions with at least some facts and football knowledge before showing us that your vagina has Tom Brady’s cum stains on it. I’m no objective writer but I pride myself on supporting my arguments with evidence other than the Jets “poor attention to detail” is eventually “going to cost them.” How in the fuck do you know that the Jets coaching staff does not pay attention to details? You must attend team meetings? Maybe you’re on the sidelines? Maybe you have a hard on for a brain? That’s right, you have no fucking clue. In an ironic twist, this week Felger is crying foul against those who devalue recent Patriot wins with unsubstantiated arguments. He writes:

“It will be interesting to see what asterisk gets applied to the Patriots’ 39-26 wipeout against the Steelers. I only say that because it seems that every one of their big wins recently has come with one. You know: Brad Childress blew it. Or the Chargers put the ball on the ground. Or the Ravens aren’t as good as everyone thought.

Obviously, most of those asterisks were handed out by the crowd that simply refuses to believe the Patriots can be a better team without Randy Moss. I’m sure these folks will be coming up with something after Sunday night. (Roethlisberger sucks? Steelers injuries? Fluke performance?)”

Felger, that “crowd” you speak of includes you, albeit when concerning other teams than the one you root for. There are valuable life lessons to be learned here folks. First one being that a Win is a Win. Second, never marginalize a victory or a teams strength based on opinion and/or speculation. It makes it easier for people like me, who do not get paid to do this, to flatten your credibilty as a journalist, exposing your blind bias, and proving you have little to no Football IQ. And please don’t think that I have some boner for Felger, he’s just an example of the many sports quacks who never cease to amaze me with the fact that they even have a job. Lastly, to all the haters, worry about your own fucking team and hop off the dick of mine.

“…coming from a person who’s been through Super Bowl-winning seasons. You’re going to win these types of close games that we’re winning. You’re not lucky to go 5-0 on the road. I’m sorry. Good teams don’t just luck up and go 5-0 on the road. That just doesn’t happen…People just expect if you’re a Super Bowl contender you’re supposed to just blow everybody out, it doesn’t work that way in the National Football League.” -Damien Woody, Offensive Lineman for the NY Jets

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Written by Rob Rodriguez

November 16, 2010 at 4:21 pm

Posted in Uncategorized

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