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Week 7 Tidbits and Advice for Bye Week Boredom

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Bye week. One of the most dreaded weeks of the year for this die hard Jets fan. Its a week that generally ends up with me being an active participant in near death experiences, late night phone calls to ex-girlfriends, and uninterrupted memory loss. Had Max V.V. not recently saved my life from solitary confinement in Guantanamo Bay by vouching for me and thus putting his credentials and reputation with the Jets secret service (AKA Player Protect Program)on the line, I may have spent this weekend in a holding cell in Central Bookings for lack of a better use for my pent up fandom. But like a 4th quarter desperation heave from Mark Sanchez that draws a PI call, things worked out when they otherwise looked hopeless. Now, armed with years of experience, I can offer advice and help others cope with this week’s lack of Jets football. And then some. Enjoy.

Ways to Get Through the Bye Week Unscathed

Fantasy Football. I must admit that this year marks my first foray into the world of fantasy football. I have no doubt that I will look back and curse the day I chose to allow this new addiction into my world.  Once I welcome this sort of competition, serious life changes are generally in store. My girlfriend, god bless her, has put up with my weekly “You don’t exist during Jet games” moratorium for the past six years. It seemed highly unlikely that this would add to the charm that is Rob on Sundays during football season. But alas, I have given up that good fight and sided with my instinctual lust for competition and sports. Being part of a fantasy league makes watching other NFL teams exuberantly more exciting and helps fill the void left in a heart longing to see the Jerseys of its favorite team. To be honest, I don’t know how I’ve ever lived without it. I am currently a part of two leagues, presently leading one in wins,while I remain nipping at the heels of the league leader in the other. It may sound geeky but dammit its fun! If you go into this bye week without joining a fantasy league may God be with you. Only he knows what kind of madness will satisfy your concupiscence.

Come get some.

Division Watch. This is an option only afforded to people who are lucky enough to be a fan of a team that has played well up into the week of their bye. While it is always fun to root against division rivals during a bye week it can be equally as painful to see them win if your own team has started the season with a 1-4 disease. Fortunately for Jet fans we are riding high into this week’s bye so eyes should be glued to Direct TV to see if the Pats and/or Dolphins give us more reason to smile. This weekend’s matchups for our foes are looking pretty sweet to me. Miami hosts Pittsburgh who will no doubt stomp away any good feeling the Dolphins had from their OT victory over Green Bay. The Patriots visit a reeling Chargers team that sports the current No.1 Offense and No.1 Defense in the league despite only posting an ugly 2-4 record. With the Pats recent history of struggling on the road and a Chargers team desperate for a win, the Pats should leave the weekend at 4-2. Grab some popcorn ladies! This is going to be a fun show!

To the victor goes the spoils.

MLB Playoffs. As a Mets fan, the MLB postseason more often than not just adds to my humiliation and suicidal deliberation at the hands of Yankee fans. However, as a sports lover I live to watch competition at its highest levels. Roy Halladay pitched himself into the record books with only the second no-hitter in MLB postseason history to kick off his first invite to the dance. The Texas Rangers won their first playoff series in team history and currently have a 2-1 series lead over their AL nemesis New York Yankees. Should the four teams in the ALCS and NLCS keep their respective series close, this weekend’s October baseball could help take your mind off a Sunday without your favorite football team.

This can be you this weekend.Your welcome.

Plan a Weekend Getaway. If Jet players are getting away this weekend, why not you? In a relationship? Perfect! If your significant other is like mine, she has no idea your team is not playing this weekend which can significantly work in your favor. You can pretend to be making the ultimate sacrifice by offering to spend the whole weekend with her and not on the couch screaming barbaric jibberish. Try this: “Babe, I feel like spending some real time with you this weekend. You’ve been great, you know, letting me watch my Jets without interuption and even brought me beer when I asked. You’re awesome. I love you. Forget football, lets get out of town for a couple days. Its all about you baby.” In her exctement she’ll say, “Yes! Where do you have in mind?” That’s when you pull her in real close and say, “Vegas, baby. Vegas.” Life is good.*

*If your significant other is a rabid Jet fan getting away is still an option, although you won’t be able to cash in those “sacrificing football for you” points. But so what, your lady is a rabid Jets fan. Take her to the nearest jewelry store and put a ring on it loser! Like yesterday. P.S.- I hate you.


Written by Rob Rodriguez

October 27, 2010 at 4:29 pm

Posted in Uncategorized

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